Broadway Sound Travel Collision
by TopHatGirl
Summary: Glee BigBangTheory crossover. Sheldon and the gang travel to Lima to do experiments on New Directions. Or, two individuals in particular.
1. Chapter 1: YouTube Discoveries

Disclaimer: I don't own either of these shows. If I did, there would be a lot less of Rachel and Finn singing, and more Kurt. And some Santana.

Also: All of the theories that Sheldon mentions is crap and I pulled it out of thin air.

The Broadway Sound Travel Collision

A Big Bang Theory/Glee Crossover.

"Leonard, come look at this," Sheldon said.

"I don't want to see my mother's PowerPoint on her reproductive schedule," Leonard said. Sheldon looked up.

"If I wanted you to look at that, I would've specified: Leonard, come look at your mother's PowerPoint on her reproductive schedule."

Leonard sighed, and came over to his laptop.

"What is it?"

"Well, I was researching the speed in which sound can carry over air particles if it is said louder, such as in singing, and I stumbled across this." He pointed to the screen, which had YouTube on it. The video was titled: "New Directions at Sectionals." A girl with brownish-blackish hair and an odd nose was belting out Don't Rain On My Parade.

"Who is that?" Leonard asked.

"Apparently her name is Rachel Berry. She's in this show choir, otherwise known as a Glee Club," Sheldon said.

"You've never heard of a glee club?" Leonard asked.

"No. My mother signed me up for Bible Study, not choir."

"Well, so?" Leonard sipped his coffee. "She's good."

"Good?" Sheldon looked bewildered. "She's screaming. I don't know how you could perceive that as 'good', but she would be good research for my studies."

"Wait…you're going to conduct a study on a singing high schooler?"

"That is correct."

"And where exactly do they live?"

"Lima, Ohio."

"So…"

Sheldon stood up. "Ohio or bust, as they say."


	2. Chapter 2: Meeting The Guy

A/N: While I was writing this, I realized: Rachel pretty much only has Finn. Which sucks, because I'm bad at writing Finn. Siiiiiighhh….

Rachel opened her locker, and took one last look at the picture of Jesse St. James on the locker's wall. She had forgotten to take it off. Why not now? She ripped off the picture, shred it into pieces, then shoved the pieces in her pocket. She would burn it later. Finn appeared behind her.

"Hey," he said, hands in pockets.

"Hey," she said back.

"So…"

"I kind of don't want to talk right now," Rachel said quietly.

"Okay." And Finn was gone. Rachel sighed, and gathered up her stuff. She went into the chorus room. Mr. Schuester was conversing with another man. Tall, skinny, formal, looked to be in his late twenties. Rachel figured he was the new 9th grade Science teacher, because the old one got fired for stealing coffee mugs. She sat down in one of the chairs. Santana was already there, crossed legs, crossed arms. Artie rolled in next, followed by Tina, Mercedes, and Kurt. Kurt sneered at her favorite pair of knee socks. Rachel ignored him. Finn came in last, sitting next to Rachel.

"Hello, everyone," Mr. Schue said pleasantly, just like he always did.

"Who's the guy?" Santana asked. The man turned to her with a look of disgust on her face.

"My name is not 'the guy'. It's Sheldon Cooper, but you may refer to me as Dr. Cooper."

"I had a bunny named Pooper once," Brittany whispered. Mr. Schue sighed.

"Dr. Cooper here is conducting a research on our glee club. For…" he turned to Sheldon. "What is it?"

"The studying of the speed vocals travelling faster through air particles if sung," Sheldon said.

"Yeah, that."

"Actually, I came here because of one particular girl…" He scanned the faces, and his eyes rested on Rachel. "You. Miss Berry. Your screaming in which you call singing was very intriguing to me." Rachel knew she should've been offended, but really, she was pretty freaked out by this weirdo.

"What about the rest of us?" Kurt piped up, offended. Sheldon looked at the short soprano boy.

"What's your name?"

"Kurt Hummel."

"Can you scream as loud and as long as she can?" he asked.

"Of course." Kurt gave a sharp glance in her direction.

"Good. From now on, I shall be observing your glee club. Act as if I am not here." He took out his laptop and began typing God-Knows-What. They practiced some classic rock. Not Rachel's favorite genre, but she put up with it. Kurt got a lead, surprisingly. Mr. Schue usually gave the classic rock to either Puck or Finn. Maybe since Dr. Cooper showed an interest in Kurt. After class, Dr. Cooper closed his laptop.

"I'll need to converse with Kurt and Rachel," he announced. Kurt gave Rachel a 'he's kind of weird' look, and for once, Rachel fully agreed with him.

"So…how was your day?" Sheldon asked, forced pleasantness.

"Uh…fine?" Kurt said.

"Mine was awful. First I-"

"Okay, that's enough small talk," Dr. Cooper said. Kurt perked up. Interrupting Rachel, equals points in his book. "I want you to meet my co-workers, who are traveling with me. They are not nearly as superior in intellect as I am, but they are still my friends, nonetheless."

"Oh..kay."

"Hold on, let me call my friend Penny so she can pick us up," Sheldon said.

"Aren't you old enough to drive?" Rachel asked. She knew she shouldn't get in the car with strange men, but it was obvious that Kurt was gay, so why would a strange man pick up a gay guy and a straight girl?

"No, I cannot. And I brought Penny along solely for the purpose of driving me," Sheldon said. Kurt shrugged.

And so, the three most incompatible people got into the blonde woman's car.


	3. Chapter 3: Salt Shaker Bazinga

Penny was slightly relieved that the chick was not, in fact, prettier than her. But she was far more talented. After the 27-year old saw the "Regionals" video after the sectionals one, she was jealous. Not only did this Rachel girl get to sing in front of an audience, she got to do it with her possible boyfriend.

Kurt interested Penny though. His odd sense of style and nervous laugh made her think that maybe he was, y'know, ding-a-ling-a-ling. Raj stayed quiet, speaking through Howard, as always. Leonard seemed to be interested in Rachel, not from a romantic view, but from a she's-slightly-conceited view. And they all were crammed into a booth at the local coffee shop.

"So, Rachel, based on your current looks, I'm guessing that your mother is, blessed, in her looks?" Howard asked, being his usual self.

"I have two gay dads. My mother…I don't want to talk about it," Rachel said.

"What about you, Kurt?"

"Died when I was eight," Kurt said bluntly. Penny flinched.

"Excuse me, but while you are invading these two with personal questions, I am trying to conduct research here," Sheldon said. "For instance, Rachel, Kurt, how often do you practice your vocalizing a day?" he asked.

"Three hours a day," Rachel and Kurt said at the same time.

"Isn't that a little much?" Leonard asked. Raj whispered something to Howard and he laughed. Rachel thought it was weird that the Indian scientist never spoke around girls. Perhaps Wolowitz and him were gay? Rachel asked Kurt this, him being the only normal(if you can count Kurt as normal) person around. Kurt laughed.

"Oh, Rachel. I don't think so. Maybe you're just intimidating," Kurt whispered back.

"And are you pursuing a career in singing?" Sheldon asked.

"Yes, Broadway," Kurt and Rachel said together…again. Kurt shuddered at the thought that him and the pompous glee queen would have anything in common with him.

"What, are you two just singing robots?" Leonard cracked. Kurt glared, deciding he didn't like Leonard that much. His hair was in desperate need of smoothing conditioner.

"Leonard, be nice," Penny said. Rachel liked Penny. She was pretty, and she wanted to be in the arts too.

"Sheldon, can you pass the salt?" Leonard asked. Sheldon subtly smiled and passed Leonard the pepper shaker.

"Here, Leonard."

Leonard raised an eyebrow. "Sheldon, this is pepper. I asked for salt."

Sheldon chuckled, shaking his head. "You have fallen for one of my many classic pranks."

"Wait for it…" Penny said.

"Bazinga," Sheldon said.

"There we go," Penny said with a sigh. Rachel and Kurt exchanged glances. What had they gotten themselves into?


	4. Chapter 4:The Makeover, Er, SCIENCE Plan

A/N: So, I was originally gonna make this a Rachel and Sheldon crazy adventure. But then I just HAD to add in Raj. But Raj can't be without Wolowitz. But then it wouldn't be fair for Leonard to stay behind. And I couldn't leave my secret obsession Kurt out of the picture. And Penny just HAD to meet Kurt. So…yeah. Oh, and maybe you'll see some Mercedes in there?

And, I need your opinion: Does Sheldon sound in character?

Kurt somehow got out of Sheldon's pestering questions by talking to Penny. Rachel didn't.

"And what do you use to keep you're vocals sharp?" Sheldon asked.

"Honey and herbal tea," she said.

Kurt studied Penny. "Have you thought of using more moisturizing face wash for your pores? It would really make your pretty eyes look bigger," he said.

"No. Does my face look dry?" Penny asked, and took out a handheld mirror, studying her complexion.

"Of course not," Kurt said quickly. "It looks perfect. I'll be happy to take you shopping, though. My treat."

Penny thought this over. Get free clothes and a makeover? "That would be great."

Meanwhile, Leonard was very uncomfortable. He couldn't talk to Penny. He couldn't talk with Sheldon(though he isn't really that desperate for company). Raj wouldn't talk, and Howard was chatting it up with an annoyed waitress. He either had two options: Leave, or play pacman on his iPhone. He pulled out his iPhone.

"So, do you work here full time?" Howard asked the waitress, who's name tag read 'Shelly.'

Sheldon looked at his watch. "Oh, look at the time. It's almost time for my bowel movements."

"Why don't you use the café restro-" Kurt was interrupted by an elbow jab, via Leonard.

"Okay, let's go," Leonard said.

"Rachel, Kurt, here is my number and hotel room number. Your parents can call me if they have any questions. Come to my hotel room at 9am SHARP," Sheldon said.

"Excuse me," Rachel said. "But I do NOT think my dads would let me go to some random man's hotel room all by myself."

"They can drop you off with me," Penny said. She wrote down her hotel room next to Sheldon's. They said there goodbyes, Howard rubbing his sore mark where the waitress slapped him. As they were walking out Rachel turned to Kurt.

"Kurt, I know you hate me any everything, but I really don't want to go there by myself. Could you…?" she trailed off, chickening out.

"Could I come with you?" Kurt asked. "Yeah, sure."

"Thank you," Rachel said, relieved. "Those guys creep me out."

"Same here. But that Penny girl is in desperate need of a Kurt Makeover," Kurt said. Rachel laughed. Of course, strange men wanted to "study" them, and all he cares about is saving another girl from being ordinary.


	5. Chapter 5: Analyzing Reality

Kurt rubbed lotion gently on his skin gently in front of his three-way mirror.

"Dude," Finn said.

He stopped. "Yes?"

"Are you going to tell me what happened with that, that guy?" he asked, squirming on his bed.

Kurt turned around in his makeup chair and studied Finn.

"He was like Criss Angel hooked up with Einstein and had a baby," he said.

"Did he touch Rachel?" Finn asked, subconsciously cracking his knuckles. Kurt rolled his eyes and snorted.

"Now why would he want to do that?" Kurt asked, being his usual stuck-up self. He swiveled back to the mirror. Still…he was beginning to think that maybe Rachel was okay. Which made him throw up a little in his mouth.

Rachel brushed her hair, stroke after stroke. She puckered her lips. What was up with her lately? She didn't stomp her feet and demand an explanation after Dr. Cooper asked her and Kurt to come with him. She didn't have some snappy comeback for any insults thrown her way. She pouted, and reached into her pocket, hoping to find her favorite tube of gold colored lipgloss. Instead her hand curled around the crumpled bits of Jesse St. James. She examined it, disgusted. She burned each piece in her scented candle, watching it crumble to ashes. It gave her a sick grin on her face.

She held her big head in her man hands. And she sobbed quietly.

Sheldon was on World 5 of New Super Mario Bros. He hissed in frustration as Mario was again defeated by the dreaded Koopa. Leonard flipped through Lima Hotel's grand total of eight channels. He settled on a rerun of South Park. He stuffed some Cheetos in his mouth. And he analyzed his situation. He was sharing a hotel room with the male with the tightest ass, next to a room where two dorks cosplayed Lord Of The Rings, and on the other side, his ex-girlfriend was furiously making sure her face was perfect, all while they were here in Lima, Ohio of all places, studying two stuck-up high school students. What a great life, Leonard, he thought.

Shelby, otherwise known as Rachel's Mom Is The Bitch Coach of Vocal Adrenaline throughout McKinley's glee club, stared in the face of the bastard child of Quinn and Puck. She cradled her, she kissed her gently. When she cried, Shelby sang softly to her. But every time she looked in the baby's face, she thought of the glimpse she caught of baby Rachel's. And it breaks her heart every time.

A/N: Wow, a sappy chapter that does not do ANYTHING to further the plot. It happens in every fanfic. And, I'm using this chapter to call SOS from my reviewers. You guys have two questions to answer:

1) Shall I have romance in this fanfic? If so, who with whom?

2) Should Leonard, Howard, Penny, etc, be more involved in this story, or should they assume the role of minor characters?

Thanks so much!


	6. Chapter 6: The Breakfast Regret

Sheldon whined again. Leonard, Howard, Raj, and Penny all groaned in frustration.

"What, Sheldon?" they asked.

"They poked the egg so the yolk spilled out. I like the yolk," he complained. They were all eating the room service food in Penny's hotel room, waiting for Kurt and Rachel. Sheldon, being Sheldon, immediately complained about the mess. Penny was about to tell him where exactly she could shove some yolk when there was a knock at the door. She stood up and opened it.

"You're late," Sheldon called when he saw Kurt and Rachel. "It's 9:05."

"Sorry," Rachel said. "But someone just HAD to pick out another outfit when there was a thread loose," she said, glaring at Kurt.

"Well, excuse me for not wanting to look like a slob," Kurt said sharply. Sheldon stood up and immediately began grinding coffee and making 'la la la la' noises. Rachel covered her ears.

"What's he doing?" she asked.

"He doesn't like arguing," Leonard said, looking at Sheldon.

"Okay, Dr. Cooper, we're done arguing!" Rachel shouted over the noise. Sheldon flipped the coffee machine off, and went back to the table.

"What a drama queen," Kurt whispered.

"So, shall we get started?" Dr. Cooper asked.

"On what?"

"There's a laboratory in Lima, in the Science Facility. We'll run some tests there," he said.

Rachel and Kurt exchanged looks. "What kind of tests…?"

Sheldon grinned. "Just some tests. Here, I need you to sign these forms. It just says that you won't sue in case something goes bad," he says.

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "Like what?"

"Like if you get electrocuted or something," Sheldon said.

"Or something?" Rachel quivered. Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Come on, Rachel. I didn't spend money on gas and spend time with you just to shake at a waiver," Kurt said, and quickly signed his name. Rachel sighed, and quickly scribbled her name.

"Let's go."


	7. Chapter 7: Duets and the Third Wheel

A/N: Try saying astrophysicist five times fast. Now try spelling it correctly. With no word check.

Sorry I didn't make this more Sheldon and Rachel centered. I wanted to test out Raj's character a little more, see how his character could react and interact to certain specimens, aka Kurt. Plus, I saw an interview with him, and he looked seriously hot. I need your opinion: Should I do a Howard/Raj relationship. I'm not budging on my no for Kurt/Raj. The age difference makes it weird. Also, I've gotten some complaints (not naming names) that there isn't enough singing. So there you go. Also, I thought Bang Bang would be appropriate, seeing how one of the shows is The Big Bang Theory. Wow, this was a long AN.

They all piled into Sheldon's rent-a-car. Raj was driving. Howard was in the backseat with Kurt and Rachel.

"Why isn't Penny driving?" Kurt asked.

"Because there's an astrophysicist lab where we're going," Sheldon said.

"Astrophysicist. That sounds professional," Rachel mused. Sheldon laughed.

"Yes, if you mean gazing up at the stars and writing at a preschool level is professional, than yes, it is," Dr. Cooper said. Raj just frowned. Kurt raised an eyebrow.

"Why is he here?" Rachel asked, referring to Howard.

"I'm here because Raj needs someone to translate for him," he said.

They pulled up to the huge science lab in Ohio. It looked study smart, and it's crisp white paint meant that fun in not welcome here. Sheldon led them to the place where they would be conducting. Treadmills, measures, buttons, dials, chairs hooked up to machines, this thing has it all. It made Rachel's sock covered knees quiver.

"Okay, Rachel. You're first," Dr. Cooper said. Raj gave a small wave, then went off to the astrophysicist lab. Howard went with him. Kurt, not wanting to see Rachel's face, followed Raj. He watched the physicist so science-y stuff he had no clue about, then spoke up.

"So what are you doing there?" Kurt asked. Raj looked up, with the same scared puppy eyes that he used with Rachel. He didn't speak, only looked back to his work. Kurt stood there, tapping his foot. He swept a hair out of his eye. "Uh, hello?" he said. Still nothing. "You do know that I am a guy, right?" Howard coughed loudly, trying to hide laughter.

Raj froze. Then he burst out laughing. "Oh, sorry dude. I forgot for a second that you WERE a dude."

"Ha ha. I'm taking that as a compliment, because I am an honorary girl."

"That's gay," Raj said, still messing around with telescopes and the many computers. Kurt wondered why there weren't many scientists around.

"Well, only talking with your buddy Howard and being conjoined at the hip to him is pretty gay as well," he said.

"Just because Raj and I are friends, doesn't mean we're gay," Howard quickly defended.

"Whatever." He looked at Raj's tan khakis and blue jacket with disgust. "You need a makeover."

"A makeover?" he asked.

"You know, a new style."

"In India, a new style is a new wife," Raj said. (A/N: I know nothing about India, so don't take offense if I got that totally wrong XD)

"Oh. Well, we're in Ohio, not India. And when I take Penny shopping, I'm taking you as well."

"What about me?" Howard asked. Kurt looked him over.

"Sorry, Howard. But even with my magic makeover charm, I still think you couldn't attract a girl."

"Whatever, dude. But I am not getting Gaga.," Raj said.

"How did you…"

"There's a lot of crap that goes on YouTube, dude."

"Oh."

Raj stopped his scientist stuff. He looked up at Kurt. "Like, can you sing well? You weren't exactly centered at the Regionals video." Kurt snorted.

"Of course!" Kurt said quickly.

Raj was the snorter this time. "Yeah, right. You probably just want to seem cool."

"I'll show you."

"I was five and he was six,We rode on horses made of wore black and I wore white,He would always win the fight…

Bang bang…" Kurt started on the Nancy Sinatra version. Raj recognized the song, and started the second verse.

"Bang bang, he shot me bang, I hit the bang, that awful bang, my baby shot me down…" Raj sang in a lower voice. He wasn't as good as Kurt, but better than average.

"Seasons came and changed the timeWhen I grew up, I called him mineHe would always laugh and say'Remember when we used to play?'" Kurt sang the next verse, smiling. Howard, having heard this song many times, joined in.

"Bang bang, I shot you downBang bang, you hit the groundBang bang, that awful soundBang bang, I used to shoot you down," Howard sang, pretty average. Raj sang again.

"Music played, and people sangJust for me, the church bells rang."

Howard, "Now he's gone, I don't know whyAnd till this day, sometimes I cryHe didn't even say goodbyeHe didn't take the time to lie."

Kurt silently backed out of the room as Howard and Raj sand the next verse together.

"Bang bang, he shot me downBang bang, I hit the groundBang bang, that awful soundBang bang, my baby shot me down…"


	8. Chapter 8: Breaking His Baby

A/N: Okay, so I'm posting this book/chapters/whatever on other sites, and a lot of people just think that a Raj/Howard relationship in this kind of setting just seems silly. Don't worry-I AGREE. I did the last chapter as a favor for a friend. Though I will HINT at them having some weird feelings? But no full on slash. From now on, I'll focus more on Sheldon and Rachel. Or Kurt. Let's do some rock paper scissors lizard spock over it.

Sheldon scribbled some things in his notebook.

"A sharp," he said. Rachel went up a pitch. The monitor flashed another number. He nodded. Rachel took another swig from her water bottle. "B flat."

They had been at it for an hour now. Kurt had come back to the room a while ago, watching, and sometimes singing with Rachel as well. Now he was just bored. He checked his watch. Noon. Malls were opening. He flipped out his cell.

"Hey, Penny," he said into the receiver. He got her number yesterday. "Wanna go to the mall?"

"Sure, sweetie. Can I take your car?" she asked. Kurt.

"Just be extra careful with my baby," he said. He shut his phone.

"Raj?" he asked, going back to where the Indian and Jewish scientists were. They looked like they had been laughing, and not awkward about singing together. For Raj, it was just another time they spontaneously sang. Maybe they could be in this 'glee' club.

"What's up, dude?" he asked.

"Penny and I are going to the Lima Town Mall. Wanna come?" Kurt asked. Raj looked back to his work, then up at Kurt again. He shrugged.

"Whatever, sure. I'm not making any progress though." Howard rolled his eyes, and waved as they got into Kurt's car. Kurt pointed out where they could go. As they pulled into the Lima Town Mall's parking lot, Kurt got out his wad of cash.

"Whoa! How did you get that kinda cash?" Penny asked, eyeing the money suspiciously.

"I work part time at my dad's auto shop," Kurt said. They wandered around the mall. They stepped into some stores for Penny, and got her some less slutty but still cute outfits. Raj smiled at Penny, a sign that he approved of her look. Then they got her a hair cut so she would look more chic.

"Now onto Raj…" Kurt said, examining the mute scientist. Raj looked frightened, and bit his lip at the choices Kurt picked out. Raj pulled himself into the tight pants, and fumbled with the buttons on most of the jackets. But when he came out of the changing room, even Kurt, the major critic, approved of the new Raj. Penny looked him over with approval.

"Wow, Lassie. Now you look decent," she said. Kurt laughed, and Raj smiled brighter. They went to the food court for some Thai food. Penny felt somewhat relieved that she didn't have to stress over Sheldon's food choices.

"So, Penny, what do you think of Lima?" Kurt asked.

"Well, it's kinda like the town I grew up in. Small, but still nice."

"What about you, Raj?" Kurt asked. Raj gave a thumbs up, indicating he liked Lima. Kurt smiled back, and continued eating. Raj suddenly tapped them both, then tapped his watch.

"What is it, Lassie? Another man trapped in a well?" Penny asked. Kurt looked at Raj's watch.

"Oh, no. 4:00. Sheldon told us to be back by 5:00 for dinner!"

"Dinner? Why so early?" Penny asked. Raj wrote 'time zone' on his napkin in pen.

"Come on, let's go," Kurt said.

They were about to leave, when Kurt suddenly had a…need.

"Excuse me, need to go to the men's room," he said, and quickly went into the mall's bathrooms. Raj and Penny went outside to wait by the car. They froze once they saw.

Kurt emerged a minute later. "Okay, let's g-" He stopped when he saw Penny and Raj staring at something. "What's wrong? Did Lady Gaga just walk-" He finally saw it. The huge hole in the windshield of the car. He gave out a tiny squeak of fear, and ran over to his baby. On the carseat was a rock, probably causing the hole. Kurt pulled the rock out, and saw it had one word scrawled on it.

FAGGOT.


	9. Chapter 9: Curbside Condolences

a/n: DAMN YOU RYAN MURPHY! BRING BACK MATT!

Ahem. Sorry. Expressing anger. Also, apologies for no updates in a while and sappy chapter. I'm a bad person, I know. But I had halo marathons, woman! Oh, Artie. Oh, and I promise next chapter will be more BBT based.

Kurt sank. Going onto his knees(not even wanting to think about that damage it might do to his designer pants) and putting his head in his hands. Penny immediately rushed to him and squeezed his shoulders.

"Oh, sweetie…" Kurt shrugged her off.

"I'm fine," he chirped, but you could hear his throat closing up. "I'm used to this. People call me 'fag' all the time." Raj quickly pulled a flask out of his jacket pocket, unscrewed the top, took a deep swig, then sat on the ground next to Kurt.

"I know what you mean, dude," Raj said solemnly. "I was once accused of being in an 'ersatz homosexual marriage'."

"You're talking?" Kurt asked, managing to peek his head out . "But Penny's here…" Raj waved the flask a bit, indicating it was full of alcohol. Penny sat down on the parking lot gravel too.

"Sweetie, I've been there too. I once wore sweatpants with ballet flats and was called a lesbian for the whole day," she said. Kurt stared at her, appalled and disgusted.

"Good thing we took you to the mall," he said, and shivered a bit. Penny bit back an insult, smiled, and rubbed Kurt's shoulder. And they sat there, in the parking lot. Waiting for Kurt to finally stand up, take a depressed look at the hole in his windshield, and start the car.

Rachel sat in the backseat of Leonard's rent-a-car.

"Wow, I had the best time being controlled, poked, prodded, and demanded of," Rachel said, rolling her eyes.

"Well, I'm glad," Sheldon said. "I think-" He stopped when he saw Leonard hold up his SARCASM sign. Sheldon just looked down at his hands. Leonard grinned as he stared at the road ahead. He knew bringing that sign was a good idea. He got a text from Penny as they pulled into a restaurant to eat.

Penny: Will b l8 for dinner, we have a "situation". C u soon J

Penny's bad spelling and grammar whilst text bugged Leonard to no end. But, being a good friend, he put up with it and sent a quick 'okay' back.

"Penny's going to be a little late," Leonard said. Sheldon flew his hands up in the air.

"What? Is time no longer an element in our society? Are we all going to just runloose, naked on the streets, showing up whenever we want? What has this world become?" Sheldon crossed his arms. Rachel raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I'm getting the vegan special. I think he wants the nuts," Rachel said. Leonard laughed at her lame joke. They walked into Lucky China Food Restaurant, which isn't owned by Asians, by the way. Howard waved them over to the table he had gotten, and they sat down. After they had ordered their drinks, Raj, Penny, and Kurt shuffled in. Penny immediately sat next to Sane Leonard, Raj with Howard, and Kurt…Kurt went to Rachel.

"Kurt….?" Rachel asked, seeing his red nose and bloodshot eyes. "What happened?"

Kurt sniffled. "Are you taking interest in your fellow being?"

Rachel ignored the comment. "What happened?"

"Nothing," he grumbled. Rachel was about to say something, when their waiter approached the table.

"Hello, welcome to the Lucky China Food Restaurant, what will you have?" The waiter asked. Kurt looked up. And he almost choked on his own spit.

"Yes, I would like to inquire about the cup of noodle soup," Sheldon began. "Is that cup a regular cup for drinking? Do I have to drink from it?"

"Well, uh-"

"Sam," Kurt said, interrupting him.

"Oh, hey Kurt. Hey Rachel." The blonde boy said, giving a small wave. Kurt, embarrassed, sipped his iced tea a little more. Sheldon went back to his constant pestering about the menu options, before they all finally had plates of steaming food set in front of them. Kurt picked at his chow mein silently, and Penny kept giving him sympathetic looks from across the table. Finally, he mumbled a lame excuse that he needed to make a call, then went outside and sat on the curb.

He pulled his legs up to his chest, hugging them. What was wrong with him? Kurt was strong. He could handle all of the crap thrown at him. But why is this bugging him so much?

Sam was walking out of the restaurant, shift over, and stopped when he saw Kurt.

"You okay?" he asked, sitting next to the tear stained boy. Kurt sucked in a deep breath.

"I'm absolutely fine!" He said, his voice going up an octave. "Everything's great! Why would think I'm NOT okay?" Sam raised an eyebrow.

"Tell me the truth."

Kurt sighed, stood up, brushed off his designer jeans, went to his car, picked up the rock, and showed it to Sam.

"Gaf," Sam said. He squinted. "No, fag." He looked up at Kurt's teary eyes. "Oh."

Kurt nodded. "Yeah. Fag."

Sam hesitated, but finally gave a small pat on Kurt's back. Then Kurt finally couldn't hold back the sadness.


	10. Chapter 10: Arcade Zoo Viewing

A/N: Yeesh, expect slow updates for a while. I suddenly have a life. That, and my non-fanfic book is needing more attention. *sigh* But a gleek Sheldon pic on DeviantArt perked me up. I would give you a link, but my comp sucks. Is it weird that I find Sam's dyslexia kind of hot? Maybe I'm just a girl who goes for flaws. Because of my excitement for various season premieres that happening, this mostly fluff and filler. Sorry.

Penny suggested that they all went to the arcade. Sheldon agreed, being a lover of nostalgia coin slot games. Rachel went because, honestly, on a Saturday night, she had nothing better to do except practice her solos. And, surprisingly, she wasn't in the mood. Kurt invited Sam, and after calling his mom(mama's boy…), he accepted. Raj, of course, said nothing, even though he was driven by alcohol. Rachel scared him, goddamn.

Penny and Kurt drove in their own cars, chauffeuring the others around, to the Lima Super Galactic Arcade.

"I don't see what's so galactic about it," Sheldon stated, crossing his arms at the cheesy alien sign. "It's neither in space, or super."

Rachel squealed in delight when she saw the Karaoke Fun! game and ran right towards it.

"Come on, Sheldon! I'll play you!" She said. Sheldon gaped, astonished.

"I do not belt out in song with 'rhythmtastic beats and grooves'," Sheldon huffed. Leonard playfully elbowed him.

"Come on, Sheldon. You said you were in Christian Choir back in elementary. Just try it." Sheldon glared at him. "For your research," Leonard added hastily.

The tall genius sighed deeply. "Fine."

Rachel excitedly clapped her hands together.

2 MINUTES LATER…

"SWEET HOME ALABAMA!" The duo belted out. Kurt and Sam were playing Dance Dance Revolution, trying to match the arrows. Raj was wailing about them not having the original Donkey Kong available to play, and Howard was playing Sniper Spy 5 with Leonard.

Penny was at the snack bar, flirting with the employee there.

Rachel tried really hard to bite back her comments on Sheldon's atrocious singing, and Sheldon bit back his about her dancing. So, it was really just two snaky people trying to be nice.

Kurt laughed at Sam's awkward stomping on the Hard level.

"No, slow down, but in your mind, speed up!" He said.

"What?" Sam asked, terribly confused. Kurt just laughed.

Howard sat beside Raj after his second loss in the sniper game.

"What are you doing?" The small Jewish boy asked. Raj shrugged.

"Observing."

"Observing what?"

"Them." He pointed to Sam and Kurt boogy-ing it away. Howard laughed.

"Great way to learn how to pick up chicks."

"What?"

"Think about it. Kurt is extremely feminine. Sam, is not. But watch how Sam interacts with Kurt, and maybe you'll learn."

Raj hummed. "Thought you were an engineer."

Howard shrugged. "I am. Engineering ways to pick up some lady friends."

Sam and Kurt laughed.

"Wow, you are so much better than me!" Sam said.

"The modest compliment," Howard muttered to Raj.

"Thanks," Kurt said, blushing.

"Wanna get some nachos?" Sam asked.

"The invitation," Howard said.

"Sure." Kurt wasn't a fan of fatty cheese, but if a hot guy was buying them…

Raj growled enviously as the two highschoolers scopped up their cheesy treasure. "Damn. He's good."

"Yeah," Howard said, jealous as well. "Nachos. Perfect choice. Sharing goopy cheese together is a sure sign of finger touching. And maybe he could offer to wipe off that smudge of cheese on Sam's cheek."

"Hey, you have some cheese on your cheek," Kurt said.

Howard fist bumped Raj under the table.

Sam awkwardly tried to wipe it off, but kept missing.

"Here, doofus," Kurt said, and wiped the cheese off gently with his thumb.

"The loving insult-" Howard was interrupted by Penny elbowing him.

"Shut up. This is my soap opera," she said. Raj raised an eyebrow. Rachel and Sheldon also came over and sat by Raj, Howard, and Penny.

"What a great song-"

Penny, Raj, and Howard shushed Rachel.

"Thanks, Kurt," Sam said, oblivious to the audience building up the table over.

Rachel gasped. "Is Sam gay?"

"Probably," Howard whispered between gritted teeth. "Now, quiet."

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "If you guys have nothing better to do then just watch two boys oggle over each other then-" Penny elbowed him. Leonard sat down heavily, crossed arms.

"Why is everyone over here? There's a Mario match going on over there," Leonard complained.

"SHHHHHH!" Everyone said. Leonard sighed. He sat down next to Penny, and boredly watched in agony.

"So, are you doing anything tomorrow?" Sam asked. Everyone else sat on the edge of their seats, expectantly awating Kurt's answer…

"Hey, are those guys watching us?" Kurt asked, now noticing Raj, Howard, Penny, Rachel, Sheldon, and Leonard looking at them with wide eyes.

"What…" Sam turned around. Everyone quickly whistled nonchalantly and looked up at the ceiling. Sam snorted.

"This isn't your own personal zoo, ya know!" Kurt shouted to them. Sam and Kurt threw their now finished nachos in the trash, and went off to other games. Everyone else sagged in their seats, disappointed.

"So…" Leonard said. "Anyone up for DDR?"


	11. Chapter 11: Dramatic Revalations

A/N: Kurt: I wanna hold your hand! Me: -almost in tears-

Oh, cheesus that was a great episode. I was inspired by the drama. So, here's a dramatic chapter!

Penny and Leonard were at a bar. Everyone else had gone home after the arcade. Penny wanted to get drunk. Leonard…was telling himself that he was only going so there would be a designated driver. Absolutely not because he hoped Penny would have drunk-sex with him. Absolutely not.

"Lenny?" Penny slurred. They were outside of the bar on the sidewalk.

"Yes, Penny?" Leonard 'Lenny' asked.

"I'm lonely."

Leonard patted Penny's shoulder awkwardly.

"Can I have a hug?" Penny asked.

Leonard sighed, and let Penny hug him.

"Leonard?" Penny repeated, using his actual name.

"Yeah?"

"Get your hand off of my ass."

Sheldon could not get to sleep. Something was bothering him. Something about his experiment was wrong….

"DON'T RAIN ON MYYYY PARADE," Sheldon's phone rang. Yes, he had Rachel's version of Don't Rain On My Parade as his ringtone. It was for science reasons! Science!

"Hello?" He said into the speaker.

"Sheldon? Can you drive down to the hospital?" Leonard's voice was panicked and worried.

"Why?"

"Because Penny got into a car accident, and the rent-a-car got totaled. She's in critical condition, and I don't have her driver's license. She left it in her hotel room. I need you to go get it using the spare key, and drive over here."

"Leonard, I've already driven to the hospital for Penny once in my life. That's all I ever need."

"Please, Sheldon. Raj and Howard are at some goth bar and not picking up their cells."

"I can't drive!"

"Sheldon. I have hidden your Spiderman comics somewhere. If you do not come, I will take each one out, touch them, spit on them, and draw mustaches on every character."

Sheldon sighed. "I'll get there." But the thought of driving terrified him. He was in Lima, so he couldn't call one of the professors to help him. He didn't have anyone. Except.

"DON'T RAIN ON MYYY PARADE," Rachel's phone rang. Yes, she had her own version of Don't Rain On My Parade. And there's no excuse for her pompous ringtone.

"Hello?" Rachel asked, groggy from being woken up from her beauty sleep.

"Penny'sinthehospitalandIcan'," Sheldon was unnaturally uncalm about this. Rachel asked him to repeat slower, and finally got what he was saying.

"Sheldon, I don't have a car yet. I spent all of my money on teeth whitening."

"But Leonard will ruin my comics if I don't come!"

Rachel sighed. She needed a car.

"I WANT YOUR PSYCHO, YOUR VERTICAL STICK," Kurt's phone rang. Kurt looked at his phone. It said 'Evil Bitch Queen' calling. That was Rachel's contact name. He flipped open his phone.

"Hello."

"Kurt, I need your car," Rachel said. Not even bothering with a greeting.

"Why?"

"Penny got into a car crash. She's at the hospital in critical condition. We have to go pick up Sheldon with her license, and get over to Lima County Hospital."

Kurt looked at the time. Almost time for another episode of Vampire Diaries. And he's planning to re-watch West Side Story for the billionth time. But this was important.

"On my way."

"How is she?" Kurt asked Leonard.

"She has two broken ribs, a fractured skull, and is having trouble breathing. Hasn't woken up yet," Leonard said.

They watched her very still body. Raj and Howard burst into the room.

"We got your texts!" Howard said.

"Holy shit, dude!" Raj said, seeing Penny. Then covered his mouth, noticing Rachel in the room.

Everyone started to freak out.

"Is she dead?"

"What happened?"

"Where's my Spiderman comics? Are they safe?"

"Is she gonna be okay?"

The doctor walked in, interrupting the babble.

"She might die," he said.

The whole room shattered.


	12. Chapter 12: Truth, Dare, and Confess

A/N: To all of the Rachel and Kurt as friends haters,

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

That is all. Wait. No. I lied. Also, I know I've been portraying Leonard as a total jackass, but I will redeem him.

Rachel and Kurt sat in the waiting room.

"You know, this is the second time I sat here, wondering if someone close to me would die," Kurt said. Rachel sniffled.

"I'm scared," she whispered.

"So am I," he whispered back.

Rachel looked up at Kurt, with wide eyes.

"Kurt?"

"Yeah?"

"You're not so bad."

Kurt sighed.

"Rachel, I'm changing your contact name in my phone."

"What?"

"Penny?" Leonard squeezed the arm of the woman he once said, 'I love you' to too soon. He was alone with her. Sheldon had left to make sure his comic books were safe, Howard and Raj went to see the newborn babies, and Rachel and Kurt…well, who knows.

He took a deep breath.

"Penny. I hope you can hear me. Because I'm not repeating this. Penny, goddamn, I loved you. You dumped me. I went emo and drank milk. Drinking milk while lactose intolerant is pretty much suicide. Anyways, I think you should know that you may not be the smartest girl. You may not have the highest IQ. But I don't care. I don't even care about how pretty you are. I mean, I think you're gorgeous, but that's not the point." Crap, he was screwing this up. "The point is, you are there. You were there when we came back from the Arctic Circle, bearded and not showered. You were there even when Howard was a perv, Raj treated you like an alien, and Sheldon, was, well, Sheldon. You still saw the good in all of them, no matter how hard it was, and...well...thanks."

Leonard was about to walk out, before he paused for half a second.

"Also, I'm pretty sure I love you. And this time, I don't care if you love me back."

Rachel and Kurt sat across from each other on the carpeted waiting room floor.

"Truth or dare," Rachel said.

"How childish."

"How cares?" She lightly tapped Kurt's foot with her own. "Pick one."

"Fine…dare."

"Ooh, rebel. Uhm, I dare you to go up to Raj and kiss him the next time you see him."

"No way!"

"You picked dare!"

"Fine. I will. But when he comes back. Truth or dare?"

"Truth," Rachel was a wimp.

"Okay…hm…would you date Howard?"

"He's, like, ten years older than me!"

"So?"

"Uhm, well…"

"You would?"

"Perhaps, if I weren't already dating the love of my life. He is Jewish." Rachel giggled. "Just kidding. Of course not."

"Wow."

"Shut up. Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

Rachel thought, staring up at the ceiling.

"Okay…do you like Sam?"

That question got Kurt off guard. "Is it that obvious?"

"Kurt, you've always been out loud and proud."

"I know, but…"

"But?"

"Well, he's straight. He went on a date with Quinn. He's obviously not into me."

Rachel scoffed, picked up a magazine, and playfully whacked him upside the head.

"Ow!"

"You are soooo dumb!"

"You're immature!"

The nurse from the desk shushed them.

"Why are we acting so happy?" Kurt asked. "I mean, Penny might DIE."

Rachel bit her lip. "I don't know. Probably because we're just used to sadness. And we're sick of it. So we hold on to the happiness."

Kurt wiped his hair out of his forehead. "You know what, Rach? You are absolutely right."

Raj and Howard came out into the waiting room.

"Hey," Howard said. Kurt stood up, walked up to Raj, and kissed him. Hard.

"What the-" Howard said. Kurt pulled away, him and Rachel both laughing maniacally.

Raj stood there, frozen.

"Hey, Howard? Truth or dare?" Kurt said.

The doctors read Penny's charts.

"Doctor, do you really think she'll die?" The nurse asked.

"No, I don't."

"Then why did you tell-"

"Because they needed to know how precious this girl is. I saw how they disregarded her."

"But doctor-"

"Go tell them that this Penny girl will be alright."

A/N: No, there will be no Raj/ Kurt in this fic. Or Kurt/Rachel romance. I hate to do this, but reviews are super nice. I know crossovers don't get much love, but if you wanna just press that little button there…


	13. Chapter 13: Wallowing Confrontations

A/N: I am SUCH a terrible person. "You can take on three multichap fanfics and still update each one often!" I said. I am such a liar. Sorry for not updating sooner. Also, self pity in this chap.

Leonard was sitting in Happy Days Diner(terrible name) eyeing the glasses of milk in front of him. Four in all. If he drank all of them…well…

"Don't do it." He looked up. Kurt was standing next to the booth, arms crossed, designer casual sweater wrinkled.

"You can't tell me what to do. I, am the adult. I am a decade older than you. I can do whatever I want." Leonard stuck out his tongue, which isn't something 'the adult' does if he's trying to prove a point.

"Look," Kurt said, sitting down. "You're bummed out, I get it. Don't you think I went through the same thing with both my mom, rest in peace, and my dad?"

"Well, you're stronger than me. I'm not," Leonard said. Kurt took one of the glasses of milk, and took a huge gulp.

"Yeah, me, the faggy little princess who dances to Beyonce is stronger than you," he said.

"Hey, I never said-"

"I know what you said!" Kurt was nearly shouting. He slammed the milk down. "But I know that's what you think. That's what everyone THINKS." Leonard flinched. He had never seen such force from Kurt. Then again, he had only known Kurt for a little more than two weeks.

"But-"

"But what? I have to go around. Every. Day. Having to listen to that bullcrap. Do you think I don't go home and cry into my pillow? Penny is going to be OKAY. You know that. Just going to be in a coma for a while until her wounds heal. So what's the big deal? You don't have to be me!"

"Oh, woe is me!" Leonard mocked. "I have to be gay! How about being a nerdy guy in his late twenties who can't get a girlfriend and is hated by the only girl I really connected with? My mother terrifies and hates me, my siblings are superstars in their fields, my roommate is anal, and my friends are pervs and mutes!"

As you can probably tell, the few people who were at Happy Days Diner at such a late hour were staring. Except for the passed out party goer who's face was stained with coffee.

Kurt slapped him..

"Get up!" he said forcefully to the wallowing scientist. "You're pathetic. You are going to go back to the hotel, take a shower, get dressed, and go visit Penny without drowning in your own damn tears!"

Leonard knew to obey this fierce sixteen year old. He got up, paid for the milk he didn't drink, and drove home.

Everyone in the diner stared.

"What are you looking at?" Kurt snapped, then slammed the Happy Days Diner door behind him.


	14. Chapter 14: West Side Phone Calls

**A/N: I installed that new program OpenOffice. Not sure how well it works. If this document looks screwy, don't blame me. On another topic, this fanfic is almost over. If you're cheering and whooping, screw you. If you are wallowing and pleading for a sequel, your wish is granted! I just need one question answered: In the sequel, do you want Rachel and Kurt graduated, or on summer break? That's all I'm telling you.**

Penny woke up. She waited. And waited. And waited. Until, Leonard walked into that small hospital room.

"Hey," he said. She brought him down to the bed for a kiss.

Kurt and Rachel were asleep on the (probably rather dirty) hotel room couch. Well, Kurt was asleep. Rachel was thinking. These past few days had been...well, crazy. And, fun. She hadn't had this much fun since she went bowling with Finn. Probably other moments after that, but that's the one that stood out the most. She did need something to make this night a little better.

"Rinnnngg...rinnnggg..." her phone went as she called. It was annoying, anticipating a 'hello' when all you get are rings. But, finally, finally:

"Hello?" Her mother's voice was inked with exhaustion, but curiosity. Rachel didn't answer, just breathed. Creepy, but for some reason, her mother knew that it was her. Maybe she had caller id, or maybe she had just wished it was Rachel. Either way, she said next, "I love you, Rachel."

A tear trickled down Rachel's cheek. She didn't speak for a very long time, but her mother still stayed on the line. She managed to get up the courage to say,

"I miss you, Mom."

"You alright?"

"Better than ever," she said with a laugh.

Silence.

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

"Love you, too." Then she hung up. Kurt was now awake, watching his newest friend (so weird to call Rachel that) cry up some waterworks. Kurt sat up, and awkwardly patted her on the back.

"It's gonna be okay," he said, having no idea what was going on.

"Yeah. It is," she said.

Kurt checked his watch. Almost midnight.

"Let's go catch a movie," he said.

That is exactly how Kurt, Rachel, Howard, Raj, and Sheldon (Leonard and Penny being mysteriously absent) went to the movies at midnight to see god knows what. Raj was whispering remarks about the movie to Howard, Sheldon was pointing out the plot flaws ("That's impossible! There's no possible way for Megamind to have a blue head, alien or no!"). Rachel was texting Finn. Kurt was fantasizing about being here with Johnny Depp. Either way, they got a call from Penny and Leonard in the theatre. Being no one else in the theatre to annoy, Howard answered the phone.

"Hello?" He said.

"Hello?" A feminine voice echoed.

"Hello?"

"Hello?"

"Hello?"

"Howard?"

"This is him."

"It's Penny. Guess what?"

"What?"

"Me and Leonard are back together!"

"Joys. Thanks for the update."

"And guess what else?"

"What?"

"I am TOTALLY trashed!"

Howard snorted. Maybe Leonard was hoping for a car crash that would get Penny accidentally on top of him.

Kurt went home. It felt like he hadn't been there in years. He sat on his bed, Finn, the heavy sleeper, snoring loudly. He didn't want to sleep. He really wanted to sing. Really loudly. You know, he actually wanted to be the transvestite in Rocky Horror. But he kind of wanted to tone it down a bit, ever since he met the crazy scientists. Mercedes was really good, but he sounded really good singing Sweet Transvestite in the shower.

He turned his pillow over. He sighed. Then he took the pillow, and chucked it at Finn.

"Wha?" Finn said, sitting straight up, searching for the zombies that had been inhisdreams only two seconds ago.

"Hey, Finn," Kurt said.

"Oh. Hey Kurt. When did you get home?"

"Fifteen minutes ago."

"Oh." he yawned. "Why did you wake me?"

"I want to sing. I haven't been singing a lot recently."

Finn sighed. "Well, then sing tomorrow. When it isn't, like, 3am."

"Fiiiiin. I want to sing now though."

"We'll wake our parents up."

"Then we'll go into the backyard."

Finn closed his eyes. "If I go and sing with you, will you let me sleep in instead of waking me up at 6am?"

"Of course."

So that's how Finn and Kurt climbed out the window, and sang songs until dogs started barking. Kurt looked at Finn during one of those songs, and knew that he didn't love Finn anymore. Only as family.

Rachel snuggled up with her stuffed animals. She counted each one. Frogger. Lady Elephant. Barbra Streisand. Etc. She was so childish. But she didn't care. She went into the living room, where one of her dads was watching West Side Story. She sat next to him on the couch.

"Tony is kind of cute," she said. Her dad chuckled.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" He asked.

"Nothing. I talked to Mom today."

"Oh?" Her dads secretly hated her Mom. "And?"

"I kind of miss her. But she updates her Facebook with photos of Beth."

"How is Beth?"

"She's got Quinn's looks, and Puck's feisty personality."

Her dad chuckled. Her daddy came into the living room.

"You guys should get to bed," her daddy said.

"I will, Daddy."

But Rachel had to stay for 'America'.*

Penny shut her phone.

"It worked! Howard and them think I'm drunk, so they'll assume I'll have a hangover tomorrow! We can do whatever we want."

Leonard smiled. "How about elope?"

A/N2: I wanted to make this a longer one. *'America' is a song in WSS. I just wanted to point that out in case you thought Rach was becoming a super patriot.


	15. Chapter 15: Wrapping It Up

**A/N: I am very disappointed. In all of my readers. Everyone favorites this, subscribes to this, but NO FRIGGIN' REVIEWS? For serious? That is why it's taken so long to update this. So, if I don't get more reviews for this chapter, no more updating, no sequel, and I'll have Kurt turn straight. **

**Oh yes, and this is the last chapter before the epilogue. And just to make one of my friends laugh, I'm trying to mention Firework by Katy Perry in all of my fanfics. **

Kurt and Rachel surprised everyone by sitting down together in glee club. Rachel looked absentminded. It felt like glee wasn't even glee anymore.

"Alright guys, sectionals is NEXT WEEK!" Mr. Schue announced.

"WHAT?" Kurt and Rachel shouted, almost falling back in their chairs. Everyone stared at them blankly.

"Rachel? Kurt? Where have you guys been for the past few days?" Mercedes asked.

"We've been dealing with a lot of issues," Kurt said, looking really flustered. He couldn't believe they got so wrapped up with his other friends that he kind of drifted.

"Oh. Alright."

Kurt looked around, and his heart sunk when he saw Sam stroking Quinn's hair, love sparkling in his eyes. Rachel followed Kurt's gaze, and she hummed sympathetically.

"Sorry, Kurt," she said, and patted his shoulder softly.

"Oh, I don't even care. He's arrogant anyways."

"Uh, I would like to save it for later," Matt said. Schue nodded.

"Hello, loud mouth cretins of the bottom of the shoe that is this school!" Sue barged in.

"Oh no, please don't tell me you're judging for sectionals this year," Rachel said.

"Of course not. But I am informing you that if you fail miserably this year, I am planning a Glee Funeral. You are all not invited. That is all." Then she walks out, and everyone goes on about their business. This is a regular occurrence.

"Mr. Schue?" Rachel raises her hand, and continues to talk even though Schue never called on her, "I have a song we could do as a group number."

"Shoot."

"Firework by Katy Perry," she says. "It expresses our differentiability at both our school, and in our lives. Plus, it's modern, and upbeat, so more people will recognize it." Kurt rolled his eyes. Even after all they had been through, Rachel was still Rachel.

Then again, it would be weird if she wasn't.

Everyone around her nodded, even Puck and Finn.

"Sounds good, Rachel. Also, everyone's going to expect you and Finn to come out and sing a duet, so I'm picking Matt and Tina for that, since they have the least solos."

Was Mr. Schue actually letting people take a turn?

Has the world gone topsy turvy?

-Later-

Sheldon was...furious. He was stomping around the hotel room, saying very bad things about science. He looked and looked over his research papers. "WHAT WAS I THINKING?"

Howard was leaning against the wall, whistling nonchalantly. "You were thinking what I wanted you to think."

"What WE wanted you to think," Raj added.

Sheldon paused. "What are you two drabbling about?"

"Ever heard of hypnotism?" Howard asked.

"_Indian_ hypnotism?" Raj added.

"What-"

"Well, Raj has always been a singer, see..."

"And I recently watched a video about the New Directions," Raj said.

"Guess who wanted to meet them?"

"Guess who didn't have enough money to go to Ohio?"

"So..." Howard glared at Raj for butting in, "we developed an elaborate plan to get to Ohio using your money. Mainly hypnotizing you to want to do a safe, and rather stupid, experiment, on Rachel Berry, and here we are."

Sheldon was silent. And he sat down. "I want to go to bed."

So he did, and Raj and Howard high fived.

Truth was, Raj didn't even know hypnotism. They just accidentally dropped a hammer on Sheldon's head while they were messing with the junk in his room. But Sheldon didn't have to know that.

"I'm probably not myself right now, right?" Penny asked.

"No."

"So we're getting married, but with no obligations. No ring, no moving in, and if we don't like it, we divorce."

"Right."

"Okay then."

"Dearly beloved," Elvis Presly began. "we are gathered here today..."

-**Later-**

"YOU GOT MARRIED?" Kurt shouted/said into the cell phone.

"Yup! Elvis did it!" Penny said, giggling.

"And you're drunk."

"Nope! Just really really happy."

"You know this won't last long?"

"I know that," Penny said, seriously. "But for now, I just really want to know someone is there."

"Well, congratulations." Rachel poked Kurt. "Oh yeah! Are you guys coming to our sectionals performance next week?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world."

**-Even More Later-**

They were all eating at Ohio's version of the Cheesecake Factory: the Pumpkin Pie Manufacturing Co. Sheldon whined at all the menu options. Leonard and Penny held hands under the table. Howard and Raj told Kurt and Rachel all about their little plan. Well, Howard told. Raj whispered.

"What'll you have?" the perky redhead waitress named Margaret asked.

"I'll have the fattiest and lowest fiber cereal you have, the soup that you spit in, and a beer," Sheldon said. Everyone stared at him.

"Wait for it..." Penny said.

"BAZINGA!"


	16. Epilogue: Otherwise Known As The End

**A/N: Here it is, the epilogue. I have decided that I am not going to write a sequel. Too many people only alerted and favorited, but never reviewed. Whatever. I hope you like the ending! **

Rachel ignored Finn's glances. She ignored Santana's smirks. She couldn't even focus on Mike's _amazing _dancing. To keep herself from thinking about the bad, she kept her eyes on Penny, Leonard, Sheldon, Howard, and Raj. Real friends. Real friends.

Kurt looked out into the audience. His eyes flickered to Rachel's, meeting hers with a smile. Then it swooped over all of New Directions, and landed on them. The Pasadena Scientists. Sheldon was trying to look encouraging, Penny gave him a thumbs up, Howard and Raj were whooping and cheering, and Leonard looked really proud. Kurt smiled. Really smiled. Even though he was at Dalton Academy now and he missed all of his friends(even Rachel), he was still happy to be here.

_-After-_

"YOU GUYS WERE SO AWESOME!" Penny squealed, embracing them into a huge hug. Everyone else joined in, except for Sheldon, of course.

"Thanks," Kurt and Rachel said at the same time.

"You were both admiral in your fields. Although I thought that-"

"Sheldon, shut it," Leonard said. "I'm really proud of you two."

"You sound like our parents," Kurt said.

"We are twice your age," Sheldon pointed out.

"Kurt, we're having party at Schue's, and even your Academy ass is invited," Mercedes says, butting into the group.

"Thanks, Cedes. We'll come in an hour."

She nodded, then left. Who knows what that boy does with those scientists.

"Oh, picture, picture!" Penny shrieked, and got out her pink camera. She tapped a random glee boy's shoulder, and asked, "would you mind taking a picture of us?"

The guy shrugged, and Rachel, Kurt, Sheldon, Howard, Raj, Leonard, and Penny all gathered together.

"Say cheese..."

"Cheese!" everyone chourused.

Raj sneezed, Sheldon flinched at the germs, Leonard sighed, Penny smacked him playfully, Howard snorted, Kurt and Rachel giggled, all while the camera flashed.

The guy handed the camera back, and they looked at the picture.

Then all laughed.

Perfect.


End file.
